Screams behind a Smile
by valerie-chan
Summary: A girl from Fai's past accidentally tags along with Fai to another dimension. Since she has no choice, she follows him to different dimensions and knows that even if she had a choice she would be there.
1. Chapter 1

I walked through the halls. This place was huge. I had been on my way to see Fai. I hadn't seen him in a while, although we were best friends. I practiced what I was going to say. How could I possibly sum up the last months in a sentence?

"Hey Fai. I know you've seen your share of blood these last months… but I just wanted to say I miss you." I mumbled to myself.

"Fai. I missed you." I whispered.

"Hello, Fai. How are you?" was the most formal approach.

I had snuck all the way here without the guards knowing… if there were any. I hadn't seen anyone. After all, they would have asked me what I wanted with a wizard. Just wanting to see him wasn't exactly the best answer. I almost turned around. It wasn't a good reason. He was probably busy… and there was someone chasing after him. I stopped and turned back towards the big white door. I pushed it open. I saw Fai in a circle of purple.

"Fai!" I shouted.

I ran into the circle, which was as thick as peanut butter. I didn't care. I found my way next to him and clung to his robes.

"Dei?" he asked.

"You're not leaving. Not without me, at least." I said.

He smiled. Our surroundings changed. We were floating through some dimension.

"Fai, where are we?" I asked.

He just smiled.

"It's where we're going that matters." He said.

"And where are we going?" I asked.

"You haven't changed." He said, his blonde hair flowing across his angelic face.

"I'm sorry. I'm here by my own will, so I should be prepared for anything." I said.

"Indeed." Fai replied.

"And to think I had rehearsed everything I was going to say, only to have it come by force." I said.

"I'm afraid you came in at the wrong time." He said.

We were dumped. I clung to Fai as we dropped. I rubbed my head. Fai was standing, graceful as ever. He offered me his hand.

"Your majesty," he said, helping me up.

"Please. It's Dei," I said. "And thanks."

"Don't mention it… Dei." He said.

I smiled. I felt the violin on my back tilt a little as he helped me up. I looked around. There was a woman here, dressed in black. I kept the same smile on my face I had always had… and looked even further. There was a boy with a girl in his arms. The girl was even paler than I was… I was just a little lighter than Fai, in every aspect. My hair was a paler blonde, my face was a paler white, my eyes were a lighter shade of blue. I wore a white dress with blue trim. In a purse I carried with me, I had haphazardly shoved my tiara so I wouldn't have to wear it. A princess in love with a cursed prince… it was unheard of. Another man was there, dressed in black. I smiled at him, but he looked rather angry. I tried not to speak as the others were talking to the lady dressed in black. She told them they had to give up their greatest treasure. What if their greatest treasure was human? The angry man had to give up his sword, and the boy had to give up a girl's memories of him. Fai was next.

"Your tattoo." The lady said.

"Wouldn't you rather have my staff instead?" he asked.

"I'm sorry." She said.

"Very well." He said.

I watched as the tattoo detached itself from his back.

"Don't think we missed you, Dei." The lady said.

"Of course. And what is the price for me?" I asked.

"Your violin." She said.

My eyes grew wide for a second, and then I went back to normal. So she really wasn't joking when she had said treasure. I looked at Fai. He had been the one that had given it to me.

"Anything to be with Fai." I said, closing my eyes and taking the violin off my back.

"Your devotion is strong. I like that." She said, as she took the violin.

There was a black and a white fur-ball she had in her hands. She gave one to Fai. I wasn't really paying attention to what she was saying, just focusing in on how Fai smiled. We were finally ready to go. The white thing started glowing, and then we were transported into a place I couldn't really describe. After a while, I saw a large, white swan swim up to me.

"You're devoted, protective, and have a strong will," She said. "A bit like me. I like that." She continued.

"I'm Dei," I said. "Well, Dei C Celestia if you want to be formal."

I began to fall. When I woke up, I saw Fai staring down at me.

"You're up." He said with a big smile.

I sat up and scratched my neck. My head had been resting in his lap.

"So since you're going to tag along, I guess I have to look after you." He said.

"I guess," I said. "It's kind of funny. All I wanted to do was drop in to say hi."

He laughed, closing his eyes. I wondered if he had found someone he liked more than me, and if he knew I loved him by now. It was impossible for him not to know; after all, he's a genius. Was he just being nice to me, or did he actually feel the same? It was in his nature to be nice, just like me. I was a lot shorter than he was. My eye was at about his chest. We were in the middle of a street. A boy had come, and was trying to get us to move. All of the sudden, we were caught in the middle of a war. Fai swept me up into his arms and ran as fast as he could. He set me down next to a car.

"I'm sorry, Fai…" I said.

"It's fine. I know you can't run." He said.

I nodded.

"Thank you." I said.

He took my hand in both of his. The two gangs were fighting over the land by the bridge. Fai wrapped his arms around me, knowing I wanted to go over there and make them stop fighting.

"Shh," he said. "I know what you want to do. I want to do it, too. But this isn't our world to interfere with."

"I... I know," I said, closing my eyes.

Fai's touch was gentle although he was trying to restrain me. I hadn't felt it in so long, it just relaxed me. Even though I knew he wouldn't use his magic, it was as if he was using it right now, just to calm me.

"Thank you, Fai," I said.


	2. Chapter 2

Everything that had happened before that… the good times, and the bad. It had always been Fai and I… and the other people that sometimes cared. So before I tell you the rest of the story… I'll tell you about the events that led up to this.

I wasn't originally from Celes. I was a princess from another country, Ethlynne. Our languages were the same, we were bordering countries. I had a sister, named Say, and we were twins.

Dec. 12, Ethlynne.

It was my birthday today. And yet I was sitting outside, in the snow. I traced my naked finger through the snow, forming a letter. I watched as it glowed purple for a second, giving me hope, then faded away. I had never been that good at magic. Well, the physical kind anyway. I knew why my parents had sent me outside. They were discussing where to send me off to. I had seen it. I had made sure I touched my mother's hand on the way out. She had looked worried, as if she hadn't wanted to do something. And it was true. She didn't want to send me away to another country. So I sat out here, practicing my magic. I had gotten used to the cold, since mother and father had these discussions quite often. I traced the same letters in the snow over and over and over, until I finally had a pair of mittens. I put them on and then drew another, then another, then another, and I must've done it over fifty times until I had a jacket. Then I did the same thing until I had a scarf, hat, and earmuffs. My mother finally called me in. I went in.

"How'd you get those?" she asked.

I didn't answer her. I knew she regretted sending me outside, especially on my birthday, but I was cold and didn't want her to know I had been using magic. My sister stood in the doorway. I ran over to her. We stared at each other. Say and I always did this. Because when we looked at each other, we could talk.

"Using magic again, Dei?" she asked.

No one could hear us, I could barely hear her myself. But telepathy isn't exactly something everyone can do.

"Yes," I responded. "Did you hear their conversation? Anything new?"

"Yes. They've decided on a family to send you to. The royal family of Celes. I heard there's twins there, too, but no one will take them so they're stuck in the family. I'm doing all I can to keep you here. But you know if you stay here we're both going to be hated. And keeping your existence a secret isn't exactly easy."

So the people wouldn't be in a panic, my birth was kept a secret, and Say is the only one recorded to have been born. My parents had been able to keep calm for the first year, but as the crops began to die and eternal winter pass over the country… they began having the discussions. Which led to me being outside most of the time, which led to a fever I was trying to keep secret.

My mother approached me.

"Dei, darling, I'm very sorry to tell you this… but…" she started.

"I know you're sending me to Celes, if that's what you're trying to tell me," I said.

"Yes. I'm sorry. I love you, Dei, but you're only one person. I'm doing this for everyone, including you," she said.

"I don't mind. At least I'll exist over there," I said.

She swept some of my blonde hair out of my face. She had no clue where I had gotten my blonde hair from. Say was the same way. I watched a tear roll down her cheek.

"I'm so sorry for everything. I don't understand why you have to be the one. It isn't fair to you, but it has to be done," she sobbed.

And with those last words, I was sent to Celes. I hadn't gotten a 'Goodbye, I love you,' or a hug, or a kiss, or even a pat on the back. Just a mother's mourning, and thoughts sent to me by my sister. I slept in the backseat of the carriage as we drove through the winter storms. With my finger, I drew a few symbols. I had made a blanket. I wrapped myself in it, and shivered. I wondered what Celes would be like. With more twins, it would probably be more unlucky. If you believe in that kind of superstition. I think it's only unlucky if you believe in it. I lied down and fell asleep for a second time.

When I woke up, it was sunny out. There wasn't very much snow on the ground. It was like the journey from Ethlynne to Celes was like from winter to spring. I looked out the window. There were actually walking outside, and some were pointing at the carriage. I jumped away from the window, not wanting them to see me. We still had another day's journey, even though Ethlynne horses were the fasted creatures in the world, reaching speeds of up to sixty miles per hour. I looked out the window again. There was no one here anymore. How had that happened? There was nothing to do. I practiced my magic some more. I fell asleep.

When I woke up, the carriage was stopped. I looked out the window. Outside there was a glistening white castle. The door opened.

"Princess," the driver said, extending his hand.

I took it, and he helped me out. When I got out, I saw three people standing there. A tall, blonde woman, and two small boys. I looked at the one… he had something like magic inside him. I could sense it.

"Hello, Dei." She said.

I bowed, respectfully.

"Thank you so much for allowing me into your country, Madam," I said.

"It's not madam, now that you're a part of this family. You can call me whatever you like. These two are Fai and Yuui," she said.

So that was his name. Yuui. I smiled at them.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," I said.

Yuui blushed and Fai smiled and bowed. Yuui took my hand, held it up, and kissed it.

"And you," he said with a smile, and still that slight blush.

I blushed so red I could hardly breathe. This was so strange. Meeting my new family… and did I have a crush on Yuui? It had only been two minutes. It was like having a crush on my brother… we would never truly be family, but it was still pretty strange. I smiled politely. The woman laughed.

"I'll leave you three to get to know each other," she said.

She went inside.

"It's… it's absolutely lovely here," I said, struggling to find the words.

"Well, welcome home," Yuui said.

Fai looked at us. He was thinking about something.

"You two are so perfect for each other," he said after a few minutes.

I jumped, shocked. How could he have concluded that after just a few minutes? Was he insane? We were family now, so we couldn't fall in love.

"Don't listen to him, he's just teasing you," Yuui said. "Come in, I'll show you your room."

I had my own room? But I'd never slept alone before. I'd always had Say right there. True, I slept in the carriage, but because I could. I missed Say, and I don't think I'd be able to sleep without her there. My driver carried my things up to my room. He set them down inside.

"Do you need anything else?" he asked.

"No. You can leave," I said.

I picked up one of my bags, a feat for me, and placed it on the bed. Yuui picked up another, and sat it down next to where I had set the other.

"Thank you, Yuui," I said.

"You can tell the difference between Fai and I?" he asked.

"Of course. You two may look the same, but your thoughts really separate you."

"Our thoughts?" he asked.

"Yes, your thoughts."

I smiled at him.

"Are you trying to say you're a mind reader?" he asked.

"Not exactly, I can tell fortunes and read auras, too," I said.

He nodded.

"I'm a magician," he said.

"Me, too," I said. "I'm not very good with the writing, though."

"I can't learn healing spells," Yuui said.

"I could help you, those are the only thing I'm good at it."

"Really?" he asked.

"Yes," I said, smiling.

"I should probably show you around the castle."

"I suppose."

He took my hand, and led me out of the room. While grasping his hand, I could see his future. It was absolutely terrifying. I gasped, trying to pull my hand away. I could feel my eye begin to bleed. I covered it, quickly.

"What's wrong?" he asked frantically.

"N-nothing," I said.

He took my hand away from my face. He saw it was covered in blood.

"What happened?" he asked, calmly.

"King Ashura." I said.

"What?" he asked.

"King Ashura," I repeated.

My eye stopped bleeding, and he led me to the bathroom. He took a towel and soaked it in warm water. He washed the blood off my face.

"Thank you," I said.


	3. Chapter 3

"Think nothing of it," he said.

I nodded.

"Then should we continue?" he asked.

I nodded again. He took my hand lightly, and led me through the winding halls.

"So what was that that made your eye bleed?" he asked.

"Sometimes when I see people's future without wanting to, my eye, the source of my sight into the future, will bleed," I said.

"That's… interesting."

I smiled. Yuui was trying to be polite. He blushed, looking at me.

"It's nice that I have a sister now," Yuui said.

"It's nice to have brothers, although I think I'll miss my sister," I said.

My sister and I had switched places these last few months. But if you lie to yourself enough, it becomes truth… and you become that person. I was actually Say, but pretending to be Dei. I wanted to leave my country, and Dei wanted to know what it was like to be a part of her own country. There was no one person that could tell us apart, even our parents.

"Yuui?" I asked.

"Yes?" he asked.

"Do you think that if my sister were here, you would be able to tell us apart?"

"It's hard to believe that you would be alike in too many ways," he said thoughtfully.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I've never met someone so polite to me," he said. "And you don't think like other people. You're very different. It's hard to believe there could possibly be someone exactly like you in this world."

"And I'm very glad you're here instead of where you were," he continued.

"Thank you, Yuui. I'm very happy to be here," I said.

He blushed.

"We should continue. This place is pretty big, it's going to take you a while to remember where everything is."

I nodded, and he showed me the entire castle, room by room. When we were done, he escorted me back to my room.

"You should go to sleep, you're probably exhausted, and tomorrow is the ceremony where you become an official member of the royal family. We can't have you sleeping through it, although I'm sure it will be boring," he said.

"I suppose you're right," I said.

I looked at a clock on a table. It was already ten.

"It's odd isn't it?" I asked.

"What's odd?" he asked.

"You and I are already the best of friends, and it's only been a few hours."

"Not really. I think it was bound to happen one day."

I went into my room.

"Goodnight, Yuui."

"Goodnight, Dei."

He left the room. I opened my suitcase and emptied it. I organized my drawers and closet, and then I put on a nightdress. I climbed into bed and sat there for a while. The door opened. Yuui was standing there, blushing.

"You don't need anything, do you?" he asked.

"No, but thanks for asking," I said with a warm smile.

He smiled back, and his smile was so lovely, I felt as if that one smile could be the highlight of my day a million times over. He walked over to me.

"How has your first day here been?" he asked.

"I was afraid it would be lonely, but I ended up making new friends… and that made this the best day of my life," I said.

"I thought you would have missed your family," he said.

"Well, I didn't exactly have the best family in the world," I said.

"Why not?" he asked.

"They didn't recognize me as one person, just my sister's twin. They gave me away…" I lied.

I had wanted to leave, and Dei had wanted to stay, but I had said that lie so many times over, that it was beginning to sink in.

"They didn't even know what I could do," I said.

"What could you do?" he asked.

"Maybe I'll tell you later. You're bound to find out sooner or later."

"It really makes me wonder."

"I suppose."

"Well, I'll let you get your rest. Good luck tomorrow."

On his way out, he turned out the light. I smiled. Yuui was my first friend besides my sister. And now that I would probably never see my sister again… he was my only friend. I hadn't really talked to Fai. I bet Fai was Yuui's polar opposite in some ways. I fell asleep. Even though Say wasn't there, I had the memory of her and also Yuui. Yuui had made me feel as if this truly my real home and I were just coming back. I felt as if I had known him for years. But he looked sad all the time. I wished I could cheer him up. Surprisingly, I didn't dream as I usually did.

When I woke up, the curtains were closed. I opened them and let the light shine in. It was warm on my skin, and felt good in the early winter atmosphere. I got dressed in a white and gold dress and left my room. I wandered around, looking for someone. I found them in the dining hall.

"Good morning, Dei!" The queen said.

"Good morning, ma'am," I replied.

"You can call me mom if you want," she said.

"All right, mom," I said, stumbling on my words.

I took a seat next to Yuui and turned to him.

"Did you sleep all right?" he asked.

"Yes, thank you," I said. "How about you?"

"Very well."

This conversation seemed so awkward. Perhaps because we were with other people. I smiled at him, hoping to see his smile. His smile was so heartwarming.

"So today is the ceremony," the queen stated.

"Yes," I replied.

"There's a schedule for you today. Tomorrow you won't have a schedule, and you'll be able to use the day as you like," she said.

"That sounds brilliant," I said.

"At the end of breakfast, my servant here will escort you to everywhere you need to be, starting with the fitting rooms," she said.

"Thank you," I said formally.

The breakfast came out. It was rather large, larger than the meal we had back home. I ate as much as I could, which still wasn't my whole plate. About a quarter. I had never eaten too much, just enough to keep my stomach from growling the whole day. As a result, I was very frail, not very strong, and extremely skinny. It didn't help that I wore corsets as my mother told me to.

"You're not going to eat it?" Yuui asked silently.

I shook my head.

"Here," Yuui said, scraping some of the food onto his plate. "You really should eat. We can't have a frail princess."

"I'm sorry," I said sadly.

"Don't feel sad, it's just… I never was strong myself, so if me and my twin had an opportunity to become king, Fai would definitely get it, because I'm too weak."

I looked up.

"Thank you," I said.

He didn't smile. I noticed he didn't smile as much as he did yesterday. It made me sad. His smile had the power to heal up a sore heart. After breakfast, Yuui looked like he might barf, and I was escorted to a large room full of dressed. I had my measurements done, and was fitted into a dress. It was lovely. It was a very large, flowing, blue and white dress. I looked in the mirror. This dress made me look as if I were ten years older. I turned around gracefully. I wondered what Yuui would think when he saw me. I was soon to find out.

The servant escorted me to my next place on the schedule. The room where the ceremony would take place. I didn't have anything I had to say, thank God, but I did have to know when and where to go. I had to walk up the isle, then up to the platform, where the crown would be placed on my head, and I had to put my right hand over the bible and pledge allegiance to Celes and become part of the royal family. Then I would drink from the cup, and then I would walk back across the platform, down the isle, and back into the castle. It was supposed to be a small ceremony, and not many people would be there. I walked back through the castle. The servant escorted me through the halls into a room. It was like a waiting room. I sat down. I looked across the room, where a grand piano sat, dusty. The door closed behind the servant as she left me to wait there. I heard her walk down the hall. I walked over to the piano. This is what I could do that my parents never knew.


	4. Chapter 4

I opened the cover and brushed my fingers across the ivory keys. I put them in position for a song I had written myself. I began to play. I hadn't played in so long, but I could still feel the electricity of the music shock through me, awakening my senses. It felt so good to be playing piano again. The door opened, but I was too busy playing. But suddenly, I looked up. I took my fingers away from the piano instantly.

"I-I-I'm sorry, Yuui. I really am. I shouldn't have started playing. It was wrong of me," I said, blushing and looking down.

"No one's played this piano in thirty years," he said. "I think it's time someone played it."

He smiled. There was his heartwarming smile, there for me. I smiled back.

"Thank you." I said.

"Please play something for me," he said with the same smile and blush.

I nodded, setting my fingers in position. This would be purely improvised… for Yuui. I began playing a slow tune… it was sad, but happy at the same time. It sounded exactly like Yuui. I was proud of myself.

"What was that?" Yuui asked.

"I'm not sure what I'll call it yet. I just wrote it. Maybe I'll call it Celes… or… Yuui," I said.

Yuui blushed. I smiled at him, hoping to catch a glimpse of that magical smile. That magic I had sensed inside of him seemed to be pulsating through the entire room, creating a beat. Then a melody came out. I mimicked it. The beat in the left hand, and the melody in the right. This was Yuui's song. His real song. I couldn't stop. This song wouldn't truly end until Yuui's life ended. I finally stopped.

"This is what my parents didn't know about. I've always been able to play piano and violin," I said.

"I feel so bad for you. Your parents never even knew?" he asked.

"Never."

"That's so sad."

I looked into Yuui's eyes. It was sad. Not the fact that my family didn't recognize me… but I sort of wished that I was back with my family. Because even though I wouldn't be able to see Yuui, I wouldn't be actually related to him. And then my feelings wouldn't feel wrong. I felt Yuui's eyes piercing through mine.

"I don't think it's right," Yuui said.

"What?" I asked.

"I'll tell you if you promise not to laugh."

"I promise."

"Uh… I really don't know where to start. Last night, I felt as if you were the most important person in the world. Someone I had to protect. Someone I loved. But… not like I should love you. It was a completely different feeling I didn't really understand."

"Yuui… I…" I started, but the door opened, and the servant came in, cutting me off.

I wished I had been able to finish that sentence. I followed the servant reluctantly, looking back at Yuui with his big, sad eyes. He had just said he loved me. And I hadn't gotten the chance to return his feelings. I felt so sad. I would tell him. But after the ceremony, we would legally be brother and sister. I don't think I'd ever truly feel like part of the family, just like a permanent guest, living with my best friend.

I was escorted to the room where the ceremony would take place. That servant had been lying when she said barely anyone would be here. The room was packed, some people had to stand in the back, and others sit cross-legged in the rows before the chairs started. I walked down the isle and onto the platform. I put my hand over the bible and said 'I do' after the priest had said the pledge. The crown was placed on my head. I thought I might lose my balance, the crown was so heavy. I walked back down the isle and out of the room. Yuui was waiting there for me.

"So… I guess this means you're my brother now," I said.

"I don't think we'll ever truly feel related… even legally. Well, I won't, anyway," he said, blushing.

"Same here," I said.

People began flooding out of the room, and swarming me. Yuui disappeared into the crowd, leaving me in this shark-frenzy of a party. I smiled and curtsied like I had been trained to do.

"Such a charming princess, isn't she? Absolutely perfect for Celes. Far better than those boys. She will be an excellent ruler," a man said.

"The boys?" I asked.

"The twin princes, Fai and Yuui," the man explained.

"I think they would both make amazing rulers," I said.

"They're cursed," the man said.

"That has nothing to do with it," I said. "It's only true if you believe in it, and to condemn a child without knowing them first… isn't that a bit prejudice?"

"I suppose…" the man started.

"Precisely. You shouldn't judge them. They're both very nice people,"

The man walked up to the queen.

"That is a fine young girl you've chosen to be princess. She looks everything through, inside and out," he said.

The queen smiled at me.

"Come here, darling," she said.

I obeyed.

"Yes, mother?" I asked.

"I'm sure you can't like the crowd. Why don't you play in the courtyard with your brothers?" she asked.

"Yes, mother," I said obediently.

I walked to the courtyard, remembering where Yuui had shown me. When I entered, it was like a room full of spring that didn't match the winter outside.

"This is…" I started.

"The courtyard," Yuui finished.

I smiled at him, happily.

"It's lovely," I said.

He blushed.

"Where's Fai?" I asked.

"I really don't know. I'm thinking he's in the kitchen. He always likes the treats the head chef will give him," Yuui said.

"You said yesterday you needed help with healing spells," I said.

"Yes," he replied.

"I'll show you," I said.

I found a broken branch on the ground. I placed my finger on it and traced some letters. They glowed purple, and then the branch flew into the air and reattached itself to the tree.

"How did you do that?" Yuui asked.

"I just… did." I said. "The letters you trace are easy to learn, but the real power behind them comes from your heart. And the best part is, grasping that power is easy."

"How do you grasp that power?" he asked.

I smiled, showing all my front teeth.

"You smile," I said.

He smiled.

"How come it's not working?" he asked.

"It is working, Yuui. You just healed up my broken heart," I said.

He looked at me, questionably.

"But… I didn't write anything."

"You don't have to write anything to heal something. Like I said, learning to write letters is easy. Anyone can do that. But not everyone has a strong enough heart to be able to heal without them."

He looked at me. I could tell he was confused.

"Yuui, your smile is what makes everything better. Even if there's no physical healing, it makes everyone feel better when you smile," I said.

He nodded.

"And about today…" I started.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you," he said.

"No… I wanted to tell you I got the same feeling. Like you were the most important person in the world, and that I loved you in a way that I knew was love, but didn't feel anything like the kind of love I knew," I said.

I looked at Yuui. Here we were, legally related now, and saying that we loved each other in a completely different way than a brother and sister should. This was all wrong.

"But… everything's already decided for us. Unless I'm admitted into yet another family, we'll never be allowed to tell anyone," I said.

"I wish I could just run away sometimes," Yuui said.

"I've already done that, and surprisingly, it made everything better. Except for one thing," I said.

"What's that?" Yuui asked.

"I fell in love," I said.

"Oh," Yuui said.

"But it didn't matter. I knew everything was fine when I saw you smile."


	5. Chapter 5

He looked at me with his big, blue eyes. I smiled, closing my eyes and tilting my head to the side. I opened my eyes, and saw he did the same thing. I bit my lip, and felt a tear roll down my cheek. I jumped into his arms and buried my head in his chest.

"Thank you. Thank you so much," I said.

I looked up at him, and he smiled down at me.

"I'm not quite sure what to say to that…" he said, blushing. "You're welcome?" he asked.

"Say whatever you feel," I suggested.

"I… I love you, Say," he said.

My head snapped up. He knew my name? How?

"How… how did you know I was Say?"

"You two may look alike… but your thoughts really separate you," he said with a grin.

"But you've never even met Dei."

"You just seemed like you were living someone else's life," he said. "And so I could just tell that you weren't really Dei."

"I _am _living someone else's life," I said.

And then the tears came. They came streaming down my face, and all those lies I'd had to tell just snapped inside of me.

"But it doesn't really matter what your name is, so long as it's you, right?" he asked.

"I suppose…" I started.

He smiled. That lovely smile… I had no choice but to smile.

"I think you should smile, too," he said.

"Yuui, I don't think I have a choice but to smile when you're around."

He blushed a deep red. We were just kids… this crush was something we'd grow out of. Love at first sight didn't exist. It's too illogical. You have to know them first, share interests, and that's where the chemistry starts. Just sensing something about someone isn't enough to spark the chemistry. It takes everything you have inside of you, not just something you think is there. And it was impossible that Yuui and I would be compatible in every possible way… that just didn't happen. Sure, our personalities and moods may correspond with each other quite nicely, and we share one interest, magic, but Yuui isn't a musician, and now we're legally related. I shouldn't be thinking these sort of things… I felt like it was betraying Yuui. I finally realized I was still nestled in Yuui's arms, and stood back up. I shouldn't have hugged him. I blushed.

"I'm sorry," I said.

Yuui looked shocked, and he blushed, too.

"You said you were a violinist," he said, changing the subject.

"Yes."

"Then I have something for you," he said with a grin. "Wait here, I'll be back in a second."

He ran off, through a gigantic oak door I at first doubted he would be able to move. He slipped through it with ease. I smiled. The thoughts of how wrong this relationship between us was… it was almost like incest. I shuddered at the thought. And then I thought of the time I had spent in his arms… how could someone so sad have a smile so warm? And how could he just be so warm overall? His embrace was so gentle, as if he thought I would snap if he held me too tight. I thought he might break, too. He was so fragile.

Finally, he came back through the oak door.

"Here," he said, holding out a shiny, reddish-brown violin and bow.

I gasped. They were absolutely beautiful.

He handed them to me, and I took them. I put the violin in position. I played one note. The string was perfectly in tune. Then the next, and the next, and the next. It was perfectly tuned. I put my hands on the board and in position for a song I truly didn't know. (If you want to hear it, look up Vivaldi's Winter.) It felt so good beneath my fingers, it was hard to explain. I hadn't played violin in so long. I played through the entire song, from the first note to the last with perfect precision. I looked at Yuui. He was smiling. Simply because I told him to? But I remembered him smiling the exact same way when I had been playing piano. Did music make his smile appear? I put the violin down, and his smile faded slightly, but not completely.

"Won't you play another?" he asked.

"I don't remember much…" I started.

I thought. What was there to play? And then I remembered. The perfect song. The one I would always remember through everything. Wayside. I placed my fingers in position, and with a gentle motion beginning in my wrist propelling the bow forward, I began the song. The smooth notes went up slowly, calmly. I could hear Yuui's breath, and it soon became the beat by which I played.

When I finished, Yuui was still smiling. (Again, if you want to hear the song, look up Wayside: Tsubasa Chronicles. Yay Tsubasa soundtrack!)

"What was that one?" Yuui asked.

"Wayside," I said.

"It was absolutely lovely."

"Thank you."

We stood there for a little bit. Yuui was still smiling.

"Do you want to learn to play an instrument, Yuui?" I asked.

"I like to listen to others play. And besides, I'm not good at creating things. Just destroying them," he said.

"That's not true," I interjected.

"Name one thing I've created," he said.

I stood there, thinking.

"Exactly," he said. "There isn't one thing I've created."

"A friendship," I said softly.

He looked up at me.

"What?" he asked.

"A friendship," I said a little louder. "It doesn't have to be a physical thing to be created."

"Do you have to prove me wrong?" he asked.

"Yuui, I'll prove you wrong when no one else has the courage to."

"What exactly do you mean by that?"

"I mean… I'll always tell you something that you can smile about. So you won't have to frown. I guess I just want you to be happy. And if proving you wrong is what it takes to do it, I will."

I could tell that Yuui knew I was right. And that if he didn't have confidence, then he would never accomplish anything. I smiled.

"Even if no one else agrees or wants to tell you," I said. "So… you have to smile."

He looked at me. His eyes were sad at first, but they cleared up. His face reshaped itself into a smile, and it made me feel happy.

"I suppose… I will, then. But that means you have to smile, too," he said.

"Agreed," I replied, smiling.

"Uh… Say?" he asked.

"Yes?" I asked.

"I mean… Dei. Would you play another song?"

"I guess," I said, thinking of something to play.

I had written a piece that was called 'Blackbird's Lullaby.' I remembered seeing a blackbird on the ledge of my window, and the violin sitting in my lap. Upon hearing the blackbird's voice, I began to play. The song is what I played that day. I had always remembered it in the back of my mind. I started out with the high melody, slow and, something that sounded almost… painful. Then I added the harmony. It, like the melody, was that same, slow, painful sound. I almost dragged my fingers across the board, putting emphasis on those slow, painful notes. Then the arpeggio. Unlike the main melody, it was fast and sharp, like the flight of a blackbird. Then, swiftly sweeping my fingers up down the board and slightly tightening my grip on the bow, the part that sounded most like the blackbird's call. The small, short chirps and whistles. Then back to the arpeggios, then the slow melody and harmony, and back to just the melody, until it was finished. Yuui wasn't smiling.

"Was that… real?" he asked, unsure of himself. "It was so beautiful. _Too _beautiful."

"It was real. 'The Blackbird's Lullaby.' I wrote it a few years back," I said.

"You _wrote _it?" he asked.

I nodded. He looked at me with wide eyes. He smiled.

"You're brilliant," he said happily.

I smiled and blushed.

"The queen said I had a busy schedule today," I said.

"I don't think there's anything left on your schedule," he responded quietly. "The ceremony's over, after all.

"I suppose," I said thoughtfully.

I put the violin up to my chin and brought my fingers down on the board. I looked at Yuui's face. I tried to play something that would remind me of him. Nothing came to mind. I could do it with piano, but not violin.

"How did you write that one song?" Yuui asked. "'Blackbird's Lullaby, I mean."

I grinned.

"Ah," I started. "The Blackbird's Lullaby," I said, and began to tell the story.


End file.
